Colder Than My Heart, If You Can Imagine
by rinincali
Summary: AU: Dean appears to be happily in a relationship with Lisa, but in reality he is having an affair with Castiel. When a choice must be made, will Dean leave his long time girlfriend for Castiel? Destiel, song-ficlet.


Inspired by: **Colder Than My Heart, If You Can Imagine** by **A Day To Remember**

Dean Winchester scrambled across the room, gathering his discarded clothing and throwing it on as quickly as possible. His partner's back faced him as he quickly made the bed and sprayed some frilly air freshener to clear the air of the smell of sex. This probably wasn't the best idea.

Once his partner was dressed, Dean turned, facing his partner, knowing they would be parting for a while now.

"I'm sorry, I'll call you when I'm free again." He apologized, his green eyes leveling with the most breathtaking pair of blue eyes he knew and loved. Dean slipped his hands across his partner's face, up into short raven hair before pulling Castiel back down into a deep kiss. They lingered longer than they probably should have, Dean's hands having slipped down to cup Castiel's ass before they finally parted. Castiel sighed softly, giving Dean a squeeze before untangling himself and making his way to the door.

"Just, think about what I said earlier." Castiel said softly, and without waiting for a reply, made his way downstairs and out the door. Dean stared after him, chest clenching when he thought about what Castiel was referring to. He shook his head and released a deep sigh before continuing his scramble to tidy things up and remove any evidence of Castiel's visit.

Castiel had left just in time, not but five minutes later, Dean heard the front door open from his place on the couch, like he'd been there the whole time. He'd even chugged half of his beer just to make it seem more natural.

After a moment or two, a smiling face framed by long black hair poked it's way into the living room.

"Hey baby." Lisa greeted, crossing the room to climb into Dean's lap with an even larger smile before kissing him in greeting.

"Mmmm. Hey yourself." Dean returned after kissing her back, thanking whatever higher power that he probably killed Castiel's taste with the hasty beer drinking.

"What do you want for dinner?" She asked softly, lightly running her hands over his chest before resting them on his shoulders.

"Burgers?" He asked with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Burgers it is." Lisa said with a laugh, climbing off of his lap and heading for the kitchen.

Dean could feel the guilt eating away at his stomach and he was positive it wasn't just because he was hungry this time. It wasn't particularly guilt that he was cheating on Lisa with Castiel so much as it as guilt that he hadn't admitted to anything yet. That was what Cas felt the need to bother him about lately. Castiel wanted more than what they had going on between them, and so did Dean... But he couldn't just end what he had going on right now with Lisa. It was too comfortable, just right. But he knew he was going to have to do something, soon, otherwise he would lose them both and he knew he wouldn't be able to handle that.

Gasping for air, Dean milked the last few strokes of his orgasm before pulling out of Castiel and collapsing beside the other man. His chest rising and falling erratically as he tried to fill his lungs with air. Castiel was similarly struggling for oxygen beside him. It had been a week since Castiel mentioned Dean having to make a choice, and Dean had a sinking feeling it was going to be mentioned again. His suspicion was right when Castiel curled against him, blue eyes wandering upwards until they met with Dean's own.

"Dean I really hate to say this again..." He murmured softly, looking down again.

"I know... I just don't think i can do that. I'm sorry Cas."

Castiel flinched at the words and separated himself from Dean, sitting up slowly.

"Well, then I hate to say it. But I think I should be leaving." Castiel said softly, turning to swing his legs over the side.

"Cas, wait!" Dean said quickly, anxiously even. He sat up as well, sitting beside the other man. "I just need a little more time."

"More time? _More. Time?_?" Castiel hissed. "I have given you plenty of time. I might have only just mentioned your need to choose, but we've been at this for over a year now, you've had your time Dean." He seethed, standing up and getting dressed as he glowered at the man still on the bed. "You Dean Winchester, are a coward. You're afraid to let go of anything that makes you the slightest bit comfortable. And right now, Lisa is that thing that makes you comfortable." He slipped his shirt over his head before continuing. "Don't say you won't let it go, not to me. Pick me, right here, or I am walking out that door and I'm not coming back."

Dean fisted the sheets under his hands, chest tightening while he worried his bottom lip between his teeth at Castiel's ultimatum. "Castiel..." He started, glancing up to see Castiel's breathing hitch in anticipation. "I-I'm sorry."

Castiel's chest puffed up as he choked down a sob, but he couldn't stop the tears from welling in his eyes. "I see." He managed past the lump in his throat. Wordlessly, he double-checked he had everything before making his way out of the house and out of the front door.

Dean flopped back onto the bed and shut his eyes tight, feeling like he had just made the worst mistake of his life.


End file.
